True Friendship

How do you find that one special and true friend?

Finding the answer to this question is still a quest for me. Luckily I am blessed with a wonderful boyfriend that I love and I can call my best friend. However, when it comes to girls; I am not so fortunate.  So where are they? You can see in the movies and television shows these dear  friendships that last for years and years.  Ever since I hit high-school I have been searching for a girlfriend to confide in and trust; but are the girls in my generation trustworthy enough to even bother having a relationship?

Every time I have invested effort in a relationship I am met with disappointment due to the lack of reciprocation. I have only found one girl in Holland named Jayeon who really understood me and actually wanted to get to know who i was and what was going on in my life; I’ve been looking for that type of friendship ever since then. Is she a rare case? Or are there really some people out there that actually do want to get to know someone for the pleasure of just getting to know them? 

 Girl after girl, I have tried to confide in and not confide in but I still have managed to get burnt by the fires of negativity. It’s always that they are in the relationship for themselves and do not care about the other person or some sort of jealous streak overtakes their being. I dont understand it. All I want is a friend that is female for once in my life that I can share memories and experiances that isn’t my own mother or boyfriend. 

My mother is a wonderful woman. She is strong hearted and very confident.  She protects her children like a lioness and kisses us when we are vunerable. I can confide in her in almost everything.  I go to her when I have been betrayed by girls that i thought were friends and when I realized that I was in an unhealthy friendship.  She tells me that I invest too much of myself in a friendship; which I guess is true.  When I am friends with someone, I want to be there for them, hang out and share great times, and be their backup at times when the ocean wants to tear up a life. She says that in this time and age with girls, a person cannot trust a girl completly because girls are more vicious today than ever.  Looking back on my experiances I say maybe that is true. I don’t know what it was like to have a friendship back in the 80’s or 70’s but I would like to think that there is still hope. Like the other day I met the nicest human beings ever. They were so accepting and i felt appriciated becuase they actually wanted to get to know me and hang out with me. Due to my experiances the first semester in Collage, it felt nice to finally findd a bunch of girls that were nice and not into the whole college illusion of fun that consisted of drugs, alcohol and sex with every male on campus.

With this being said….Do you think that everyone will find a true gal pal to rake up the good and bad times together? Or is that just an old fashioned illusion that used to be real? It’s hard to believe that you can find a friend you have been friends with since kindergarden but with the people i know that do have that type of friendship…..there is still hope i will find another, real, Jayeon; a true friendship.

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2 Responses to True Friendship

  1. I can’t really give you a female perspective but I’ll put my 2 cents in anyway.

    Do you ever feel like you push potential friends by being too full on for them? Some people may only be looking for some light socializing.

    I would say I have 3 friends: 2 guys, one girl that are friends to the level you mention.

    They would lie down in traffic if I needed them to and visa-versa. I have known these guys 10 years now. It was never a goal to become such good friends… it just happened… if you see what I’m getting at.

  2. daisybug says:

    No Jenny – You don’t NEED a gal-pal. And you can’t really fake it. I have been without a “BFF” since well – honestly this may be TMI but I shall tell you – since 1996 when I discovered that the one I had for ten years (in college we were inseparable, truly twins with different mothers) was having an on-going affair with my then husband. I was more hurt by her betrayal than his – and I also blamed her almost completely for it.

    I find that the level of intimacy I am comfortable with MOST people in general is limited. I wouldn’t lie down in traffic for anyone other than immediate family. Is this because I am bitter and jaded? Who knows – possibly. But I think I have earned the right to be protective of my heart and soul.

    Am I suffering in any way for my lack of a gal pal?? Heck no. My husband is fantastic. We are great friends, (He probably wishes I had a friend though – talking about mood swings and hot flashes and hormones and which purse I should buy likely gets on his nerves at times – but he hangs in there with me!)

    You know what I would seriously LOVE to have??? A gay best friend. Seriously. That would be so much fun!

    Anyway – don’t stress about it – you won’t be in college forever – perhaps one day someone will befriend you and you will feel differently – but maybe not and that is okay too.

    ~Peace

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