To Marry or not to Marry?

May 12, 2010

What is the hurry? Why do people need to rush into marriage because “it is time?” A couple has been together for almost 5 years and that automatically means that they have to rush to the alter. Why?

I find that question nagging at me constantly.

I am 21 years old and my boyfriend of almost 4 years is 31 years old. I am still in college heading toward my senior year after this summer and my boyfriend, Mike, is already grounded with his own business, job and life.  Just because we have been dating for so long, everyone who meets us or knows us has asked when we are getting married knowing that we aren’t even engaged yet. Kind of takes the surprise and mystery out of a proposal doesn’t it? Each time we are both asked, “When are you getting married?” we both look at each other or just shrug. I am always tempted to say…”We will let you know when the time comes,” and leave it at that. Now I can relate to Kim Kardashingan with her fustration of reporters asking her when she will marry Reggie.

Worst of all, my parents are trying to corner me with an ultimatum. They are telling me that I need to either marry Mike or come to Florida with them. My father is already planning to get me a job even though I had not asked him of it. I am not interested anymore in my major, journalism but they haven’t even considered that little factor with them being so busy planning out my life and how they think it should be.

By Puerto Rican standards, I am not allowed to live with Mike without being married and so the dilema of where the heck I am supposed to go remains a question mark. Do I leave where I live and where Mike, the love of my life, lives, and catch a plane to Florida? Or do I marry Mike?

God, Mike hasn’t even proposed yet and now I feel like my parents are not only pressuring me but Mike as well to get hitched. All the world is wondering when? and Mike and I are wondering why?

I am a rebellious child in a sense of that fact that I HATE it when my parents try tell me what I need to do with MY life. I don’t rebel with drugs, alcohol or anything like that, but I do like to do the opposite that requires a delicate middle finger being pointed toward the sky. My parents don’t even know the half of it because the satisfaction is in the relief that I have a choice rather than showing them that. My parents rushing me to head to Florida, makes me want to do what they don’t want me to do. Live with Mike or be on my own with my own place and job. Of course I don’t want to live with my boyfriend unless I am married either so that leaves me with one choice….live on my own here?

My parents travel all the time. Since I have been in college they have already moved twice. First to TN and then to Florida. Why do I have to follow them? Especially, when they can just up and leave later! I dont want to follow them like a lost dog even if I love to be in FL. I mean it’s a fun place. There is always something to do, restaurants to eat at, people to meet, parks to visit. But none of those things sound appealing with out Mike to enjoy them with. And with him having his own business, he cant just up and leave here.

I want to get married to Mike. I do. I want to be his wife forever and live with him. But all this hype and annoying pressure makes me frustrated and almost rebellious at the idea. I just want people to shut up about it and I want my parents to help me make decisions when I ask them to, not when they feel like they need to do it for me without my permission. I appreciate their help, love, and all but they need to let me be for once.

Mike says he wants to marry me, but he wants everything to be a surprise, which is hard when everyone that finds out about us is constantly asking, probing and pressuring.

I don’t want to disappoint my parents but it has come to a point where I am getting fed up with the ultimatum. Has Mike proposed? Will Mike propose? When do you expect he will propose? Well if he doesn’t propose you have to be with us in Florida! Blah Blah Blah….

It is all a bunch of none sense. Where is the mystery in life? Where is the wonderful rush of love when it is unexpected? Most importantly, why have people still not learned to mind their own business?


Does Love Have a Number?

February 20, 2008

Back in the old days girls married at age 14 to older men.  Through the decades the age number increased till the idea was of dating a man 5 years older is looked upon as wrong.  It is wrong these days for a 30 year old man to run around with woman of age 14 in this time and age due to the lack of morality in some older generations. What happens though if you meet a great guy at the age of 18 but is 10 years older? but is it ok when they hit the age of 18? 

 I am currently dating a man 10 years older than me. We met at my old job and ever since then we have been dating. Its been a year and a half and we are still in love; if not more than ever. It is not common to see someone dissaprove of us being together when they have not met my boyfriend. Just the age difference alone shows how wrong it is. The common arguments are… “He’s only seeking one thing from you and its not being with you.” “He is too old, you should be with someone your age.” and etc.

Problem is with that last arguement is that every guy I meet at my age isn’t what I am looking for. I want to fall in love and be in that relationship. I no longer want to explore a bunch of bad relationships when I can have one great one full of love.  Every guy I have dated in the past has been has used, cheated, or is just plain immature. I then met my boyfriend and he was like this perfect guy I have dreamt about as a little girl to one day marry a man like him.  My boyfriend is gentle, listens and cares on what I have to say, is romantic, says all the right things, and is really really handsome. Too perfect to be true? Well, it is! Of course theres some blemishes here in there but I have them too. He isnt perfect but he is damn close to it. I have given him my heart and he has taken damn good care of it. Everytime I need him to be there for me when I am at a dark corner he is there to shine the light. He is the one who fell in love with me first, took me a while to trust myself and him enough to fall in love.

This girl commented my boyfriend’s blog out of the blue and insulted him becuase of the relationship he had with me. She was rude enough to call him names without even knowing who he was. She said our relationship was wrong becuase I was so young for him. How can love be wrong. Its not like I am underage. I am well aware of who I am dating and what desicions I make. My parents dont have a problem with it and so why should anyone else? He loves me and I love him….is that so bad?

It is ok in our society to accept relationships with celebeties or older people. Demi Moore married Ashton Kutcher….bigger age difference then my relationship. Older men celeberties date younger women all the time and you know what? Non celeberty men do it all the time. I am not a child, I am 19 years old and i love a man 10 years older than me. He is the best gift God has given me and I will not let some person’s comments break us apart. When it all comes down to it in the end, its me and him. We are ok with each other and that is what counts. Plus I have never been this happy. Therefore, anyone that chooses to disrupt our relationship….I think should get a life and try to establish their own joy and happiness instead of trying to destroy the happiness of others becuase in my relationship….our love doesn’t have a number.

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