To Marry or not to Marry?

May 12, 2010

What is the hurry? Why do people need to rush into marriage because “it is time?” A couple has been together for almost 5 years and that automatically means that they have to rush to the alter. Why?

I find that question nagging at me constantly.

I am 21 years old and my boyfriend of almost 4 years is 31 years old. I am still in college heading toward my senior year after this summer and my boyfriend, Mike, is already grounded with his own business, job and life.  Just because we have been dating for so long, everyone who meets us or knows us has asked when we are getting married knowing that we aren’t even engaged yet. Kind of takes the surprise and mystery out of a proposal doesn’t it? Each time we are both asked, “When are you getting married?” we both look at each other or just shrug. I am always tempted to say…”We will let you know when the time comes,” and leave it at that. Now I can relate to Kim Kardashingan with her fustration of reporters asking her when she will marry Reggie.

Worst of all, my parents are trying to corner me with an ultimatum. They are telling me that I need to either marry Mike or come to Florida with them. My father is already planning to get me a job even though I had not asked him of it. I am not interested anymore in my major, journalism but they haven’t even considered that little factor with them being so busy planning out my life and how they think it should be.

By Puerto Rican standards, I am not allowed to live with Mike without being married and so the dilema of where the heck I am supposed to go remains a question mark. Do I leave where I live and where Mike, the love of my life, lives, and catch a plane to Florida? Or do I marry Mike?

God, Mike hasn’t even proposed yet and now I feel like my parents are not only pressuring me but Mike as well to get hitched. All the world is wondering when? and Mike and I are wondering why?

I am a rebellious child in a sense of that fact that I HATE it when my parents try tell me what I need to do with MY life. I don’t rebel with drugs, alcohol or anything like that, but I do like to do the opposite that requires a delicate middle finger being pointed toward the sky. My parents don’t even know the half of it because the satisfaction is in the relief that I have a choice rather than showing them that. My parents rushing me to head to Florida, makes me want to do what they don’t want me to do. Live with Mike or be on my own with my own place and job. Of course I don’t want to live with my boyfriend unless I am married either so that leaves me with one choice….live on my own here?

My parents travel all the time. Since I have been in college they have already moved twice. First to TN and then to Florida. Why do I have to follow them? Especially, when they can just up and leave later! I dont want to follow them like a lost dog even if I love to be in FL. I mean it’s a fun place. There is always something to do, restaurants to eat at, people to meet, parks to visit. But none of those things sound appealing with out Mike to enjoy them with. And with him having his own business, he cant just up and leave here.

I want to get married to Mike. I do. I want to be his wife forever and live with him. But all this hype and annoying pressure makes me frustrated and almost rebellious at the idea. I just want people to shut up about it and I want my parents to help me make decisions when I ask them to, not when they feel like they need to do it for me without my permission. I appreciate their help, love, and all but they need to let me be for once.

Mike says he wants to marry me, but he wants everything to be a surprise, which is hard when everyone that finds out about us is constantly asking, probing and pressuring.

I don’t want to disappoint my parents but it has come to a point where I am getting fed up with the ultimatum. Has Mike proposed? Will Mike propose? When do you expect he will propose? Well if he doesn’t propose you have to be with us in Florida! Blah Blah Blah….

It is all a bunch of none sense. Where is the mystery in life? Where is the wonderful rush of love when it is unexpected? Most importantly, why have people still not learned to mind their own business?

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Valentines Day

February 15, 2010

Girls are planning excitedly, guys are bringing out their wallets hesitantly, and the corporate industry is urging you to show your affection for your love so that you don’t lose them to someone else.

For the past 3 years, my boyfriend and I have been faithful Valentine celebrators. We would plan a dinner and buy each other gifts. This year, however, we are leaving our cash in our pockets. No outing, no presents.

I mean if you think about it? Why need to have a day to tell someone you love them? Are we that busy in our postmodern world to even look at our sweetie at least once a week and tell them that you love them? Do we all really need to pick the same day to fight for restaurant spots or sales for gifts? I think not. Call me a hippie, but I have decided to “stick it to the man” by not participating in a pointless holiday.

I mean, it is still nice to give a shout-out to friends, family and loves. But other than that, we should always tell everyone that we love them.

Plus, this holiday makes singles more longing when they should be feeling strong about being independent. But instead, they lag around wishing that they could have their very own sweetie of their own or hastily scurry to find a temp to fill in just for the day.

If you stop and look around, you will see tons of ad clutter over flowers, chocolates, and items on sale that coiuld be the best love in a box. Its everywhere! Corporate America loves holidays like these. Christmas, I am sorry to say, fits in a money mongol category of Valentines day…only, Christmas is sooooo much more forgivable becuase it brings much more things to the plate than depressing, or gooey Valentines day.

So, in the spirit of the day after Valentines (Since it is 12:43 right now), I will say “boo” to this holiday and horah for telling your sweetie that you adore them in every fashion everyday (Or at least once a week). That you are so happy your are with them becuase they give you a warm, fuzzy, and at times ichy feeling inside. You should surprise them with a rose, or fav flower on a random date like March 18th or a videogame in August. Point is, don’t depend on a vague and out of touch holiday to be honest. Be mysterious for once and remind your love what has been there all along.


Devotion

March 31, 2008

I had a crazy…crazy dream last night. But I like it becuase it helped me realize some things afterwards (hated it during the dream).  It was about me and my boo and we were on this wierd adventure. 

It all starts out with Mike and I hugging and then all of a sudden in Walmart…a group of terrorists came and shot up the place telling everyone in Walmart to go into a dark cave.  For some reason, there was this big butt cave in the corner of walmart. I remember seeing a herd of people go in this cave in panic…which is weird.  Idk why mike was not with me but I ran for my life into the cave with everyone else and then saw a train. It was like those lil kid trains where you just step in and sit down. I got this sinking feeling that I was going to die, I was so scared all i wanted was Mike. This  white man with a whip wanted me to get in and i said i only wanted to sit with my baby, Mike. he kept trying to get me into the cart but refused like crazy. Then the guy  finally gave up and rolled his eyes. He said that Mike was is in the  retard section. I looked over to where he was pointing and saw my love staring off into space. I didnt care, all i wanted was to be with him and if he really was retarded, I wanted to take care of him in this time of crisis. But as the train started to move through a tunnel i whispered to Mike asking him if he was faking it and he looked over at me with his blue eyes glowing so beautifully and nodded. He then grabbed me and kissed me before the dude with a whip saw. As we went through the tunnel I saw Lindsey Lohan make out with this dude with no top on in the other dude’s shirt……What the hell right? haha Then we were stuck in this city and were made to work like slaves. This black guy with a whip started asking people in lines whether they accepted Christ as their lord and savior while in the background some building burned and the whole town was dressed up in the KKK outfits. I know i know….what the heck? Everytime someone said they didnt know Jesus, the black guy would whip them crazy. Turns out there was a witch over the city that was making all this evil come out. So i went and i dont rememeber how the hell i did it but i ended up caging her and burried this bottle that seemed to give her powers in the sand. She screamed and hollered as i left to bury the bottle. When I came back the witch told me that Mike had died. She said she had poisoned him with her eyes. I cried like a freakin kid who had all their limbs broken! I was like…..I dont want to live without him! I just want my baby! Bring him back,bring him back! I cant live without him! He is my life! And then i saw mike on this Aladdin bed beside the witche’s cave. I ran over and i kissed his dead body and hugged him sobbing like crazy. Then Mike woked up and carresed my head and said…”its alright baby im here.” And we just hugged and kissed…….It was a happy ending to a WIERD AND CRAAAAZY story!

Your problably wondering….why? Well idk I have the wildest dreams…dont get me started! But when i woke up i had tears in my eyes and i had this warm feeling of gratefulness that Mike was still alive. I also felt my love for him just beaaaaaaaaaaaam out of me like crazy becuase i was so close to losing him…in fact i did lose him and i couldnt stand it!  I am just so happy to have Mike in my life. Even though this dream was so funky, im glad i had it! I love my bf….i know i know im a cheeseball!