To Marry or not to Marry?

May 12, 2010

What is the hurry? Why do people need to rush into marriage because “it is time?” A couple has been together for almost 5 years and that automatically means that they have to rush to the alter. Why?

I find that question nagging at me constantly.

I am 21 years old and my boyfriend of almost 4 years is 31 years old. I am still in college heading toward my senior year after this summer and my boyfriend, Mike, is already grounded with his own business, job and life.  Just because we have been dating for so long, everyone who meets us or knows us has asked when we are getting married knowing that we aren’t even engaged yet. Kind of takes the surprise and mystery out of a proposal doesn’t it? Each time we are both asked, “When are you getting married?” we both look at each other or just shrug. I am always tempted to say…”We will let you know when the time comes,” and leave it at that. Now I can relate to Kim Kardashingan with her fustration of reporters asking her when she will marry Reggie.

Worst of all, my parents are trying to corner me with an ultimatum. They are telling me that I need to either marry Mike or come to Florida with them. My father is already planning to get me a job even though I had not asked him of it. I am not interested anymore in my major, journalism but they haven’t even considered that little factor with them being so busy planning out my life and how they think it should be.

By Puerto Rican standards, I am not allowed to live with Mike without being married and so the dilema of where the heck I am supposed to go remains a question mark. Do I leave where I live and where Mike, the love of my life, lives, and catch a plane to Florida? Or do I marry Mike?

God, Mike hasn’t even proposed yet and now I feel like my parents are not only pressuring me but Mike as well to get hitched. All the world is wondering when? and Mike and I are wondering why?

I am a rebellious child in a sense of that fact that I HATE it when my parents try tell me what I need to do with MY life. I don’t rebel with drugs, alcohol or anything like that, but I do like to do the opposite that requires a delicate middle finger being pointed toward the sky. My parents don’t even know the half of it because the satisfaction is in the relief that I have a choice rather than showing them that. My parents rushing me to head to Florida, makes me want to do what they don’t want me to do. Live with Mike or be on my own with my own place and job. Of course I don’t want to live with my boyfriend unless I am married either so that leaves me with one choice….live on my own here?

My parents travel all the time. Since I have been in college they have already moved twice. First to TN and then to Florida. Why do I have to follow them? Especially, when they can just up and leave later! I dont want to follow them like a lost dog even if I love to be in FL. I mean it’s a fun place. There is always something to do, restaurants to eat at, people to meet, parks to visit. But none of those things sound appealing with out Mike to enjoy them with. And with him having his own business, he cant just up and leave here.

I want to get married to Mike. I do. I want to be his wife forever and live with him. But all this hype and annoying pressure makes me frustrated and almost rebellious at the idea. I just want people to shut up about it and I want my parents to help me make decisions when I ask them to, not when they feel like they need to do it for me without my permission. I appreciate their help, love, and all but they need to let me be for once.

Mike says he wants to marry me, but he wants everything to be a surprise, which is hard when everyone that finds out about us is constantly asking, probing and pressuring.

I don’t want to disappoint my parents but it has come to a point where I am getting fed up with the ultimatum. Has Mike proposed? Will Mike propose? When do you expect he will propose? Well if he doesn’t propose you have to be with us in Florida! Blah Blah Blah….

It is all a bunch of none sense. Where is the mystery in life? Where is the wonderful rush of love when it is unexpected? Most importantly, why have people still not learned to mind their own business?


Valentines Day

February 15, 2010

Girls are planning excitedly, guys are bringing out their wallets hesitantly, and the corporate industry is urging you to show your affection for your love so that you don’t lose them to someone else.

For the past 3 years, my boyfriend and I have been faithful Valentine celebrators. We would plan a dinner and buy each other gifts. This year, however, we are leaving our cash in our pockets. No outing, no presents.

I mean if you think about it? Why need to have a day to tell someone you love them? Are we that busy in our postmodern world to even look at our sweetie at least once a week and tell them that you love them? Do we all really need to pick the same day to fight for restaurant spots or sales for gifts? I think not. Call me a hippie, but I have decided to “stick it to the man” by not participating in a pointless holiday.

I mean, it is still nice to give a shout-out to friends, family and loves. But other than that, we should always tell everyone that we love them.

Plus, this holiday makes singles more longing when they should be feeling strong about being independent. But instead, they lag around wishing that they could have their very own sweetie of their own or hastily scurry to find a temp to fill in just for the day.

If you stop and look around, you will see tons of ad clutter over flowers, chocolates, and items on sale that coiuld be the best love in a box. Its everywhere! Corporate America loves holidays like these. Christmas, I am sorry to say, fits in a money mongol category of Valentines day…only, Christmas is sooooo much more forgivable becuase it brings much more things to the plate than depressing, or gooey Valentines day.

So, in the spirit of the day after Valentines (Since it is 12:43 right now), I will say “boo” to this holiday and horah for telling your sweetie that you adore them in every fashion everyday (Or at least once a week). That you are so happy your are with them becuase they give you a warm, fuzzy, and at times ichy feeling inside. You should surprise them with a rose, or fav flower on a random date like March 18th or a videogame in August. Point is, don’t depend on a vague and out of touch holiday to be honest. Be mysterious for once and remind your love what has been there all along.


Public Affection

May 31, 2008

I was just thinking today of the past. I thought of all my x-relationships and even though they ended, they still had its highlights. I was remembering of all the good times in every relationship which was mostly in the beginning. I think the beginning of every relationship is the best and also the scaryist. It is scary because the possibilty of getting hurt is at its high but at the same time you still feel little butterflies in your stomach at the sight of him. Yet the best part of the beginning is the bubbling sensations you get. Its fresh, its new. Every touch, every word, hug, and kiss is electric. The best part of the relationship in my opinion is that unseperable attraction you get for the other person. Every second, every where you go no matter where you are, the other person wants to remind you that they care with constant kisses, hand plays, and hugs especially around other people. I love public affection, I love how the guy always wants to “claim” what they think is theirs. When I always started to go out with someone they would always be affectionate in public. Arm around the waist, hand in hand, or hugging me from behind kissing my neck are all loverly signs of affection. I loved being spoiled and shown off even if the other dudes already knew i was off limits. LOVE IT! To me public affection like that reads off as you are proud to be with the other person and showing how you dont want to share your special someone.  I don’t know if that is just highschool affection but im kinda sure it still occurs when your older.  Its the little things that remind me of how the other person cares, you dont have to make out in public to show your feelings becuase thats just over the top.  Plus i think public affection says alot for how the future will turn out to be.  If you get no affection when your together before you get married then you can gaurentee that there will be none in marraige. Thats my guess at least. Yet if you’re with someone who constantly is nuzzling you and kisses you all the time on the forehead not only in private but also in front of friends, you can guess that the other person will not be afraid to love you when your married.  I dont ever plan on marrying someone who doesnt display their love becuase I am a very emotional person and I love to show affection. But if i get nothing back, it makes me feel like im hitting a dead end.  I need actions to back up words, and once they join together in one argument then I am a happy camper. hehe I dont know if all girls feel the same way i do but i know that’s what I like. I think the only time you can show a min amount of affection is around family becuase its just kinda weird for me. Otherwise i say dont be ashamed boys to show your girlfriends how much you care becuase if they are anything like me…they’d be waiting for you.  So tear down your ego and public affectionize your woman! haha 🙂


Best Vacation

March 27, 2008

For Easter break I had almost a week off from school. I went to Myrtle Beach where I had the time of my life!  Day one was magical, day two was orgasmic! and day 3 was the perfect ending.  I have never embarked on so many things in one trip!  I got to walk Barefoot landing in North Myrtle and stroll around the shops and get a caricature done. I had the opportunity to hold and take a picture with a white tiger and a Gibben named Yogi. I can still feel the tigers wooly yet catish fur on my fingertips and the monkeys soft but rubber fingers around my neck! Next year they have a tour where you can spend time with the animals and different kinds too! Imma taking it! I got to go on an adventure in treasure island putt putting where i went through caves with waterfalls several feet high while hitting balls into holes.  Then I got to witness dinosaurs swimming, flying, and stomping around at the I-MAX theater at Broadway at the Beach. And lastly, I had the grand privilage of being at Medievil Times! Now, I thought it was going to be this overpriced gig where I see the horses far down below me and the food was going to be crap…but instead i was pleasently surprised to see that I was close up near the horses and action! plus the food was delicious! I got to cheer on my knight (who was red and yellow) and see him defeat the bad guy in the end all the while eating my delicious meal. LOVED IT! Not only did i get to do these things, I still had a chance to visit the beach and bask in its magnificance!  The best part of my trip however, was being with my bf whom I love dearly.  Without him this trip would lay insignificant.  While i got to do these things, I held his hand and kissed his lips all through the day! There is nothing like doing something fun with someone you love.  We sat huddled together on the sandy shore watching the seagulls get fed and our feet dig in the warm sand. We got to cheer our knight and kiss under the waterfall.  We had our picture taken petting wild animals and hold hands walking the layers of shops.   I had the best time and it was so relaxing. There’s nothing like a perfect trip to keep your optimism high! 🙂


Does Love Have a Number?

February 20, 2008

Back in the old days girls married at age 14 to older men.  Through the decades the age number increased till the idea was of dating a man 5 years older is looked upon as wrong.  It is wrong these days for a 30 year old man to run around with woman of age 14 in this time and age due to the lack of morality in some older generations. What happens though if you meet a great guy at the age of 18 but is 10 years older? but is it ok when they hit the age of 18? 

 I am currently dating a man 10 years older than me. We met at my old job and ever since then we have been dating. Its been a year and a half and we are still in love; if not more than ever. It is not common to see someone dissaprove of us being together when they have not met my boyfriend. Just the age difference alone shows how wrong it is. The common arguments are… “He’s only seeking one thing from you and its not being with you.” “He is too old, you should be with someone your age.” and etc.

Problem is with that last arguement is that every guy I meet at my age isn’t what I am looking for. I want to fall in love and be in that relationship. I no longer want to explore a bunch of bad relationships when I can have one great one full of love.  Every guy I have dated in the past has been has used, cheated, or is just plain immature. I then met my boyfriend and he was like this perfect guy I have dreamt about as a little girl to one day marry a man like him.  My boyfriend is gentle, listens and cares on what I have to say, is romantic, says all the right things, and is really really handsome. Too perfect to be true? Well, it is! Of course theres some blemishes here in there but I have them too. He isnt perfect but he is damn close to it. I have given him my heart and he has taken damn good care of it. Everytime I need him to be there for me when I am at a dark corner he is there to shine the light. He is the one who fell in love with me first, took me a while to trust myself and him enough to fall in love.

This girl commented my boyfriend’s blog out of the blue and insulted him becuase of the relationship he had with me. She was rude enough to call him names without even knowing who he was. She said our relationship was wrong becuase I was so young for him. How can love be wrong. Its not like I am underage. I am well aware of who I am dating and what desicions I make. My parents dont have a problem with it and so why should anyone else? He loves me and I love him….is that so bad?

It is ok in our society to accept relationships with celebeties or older people. Demi Moore married Ashton Kutcher….bigger age difference then my relationship. Older men celeberties date younger women all the time and you know what? Non celeberty men do it all the time. I am not a child, I am 19 years old and i love a man 10 years older than me. He is the best gift God has given me and I will not let some person’s comments break us apart. When it all comes down to it in the end, its me and him. We are ok with each other and that is what counts. Plus I have never been this happy. Therefore, anyone that chooses to disrupt our relationship….I think should get a life and try to establish their own joy and happiness instead of trying to destroy the happiness of others becuase in my relationship….our love doesn’t have a number.

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Hello world!

January 30, 2008

For my first blog entry. I would like to dedicate it to my loving boyfriend Michael Joyce. He knows I love writing and so he started this page for me to pour out confusions, happy ponders, to sad reflections. He is one of the most important people in my life that I love dearly and knows me very well. So…Here’s to you baby!

This is my latest poem that I have given my boyfriend about how precious I see our love.

Hidden and Conspicuous Beauty 

Blue streaks across the window

Spell bound in a shape like no other

A shape of blissful tenderness

And cool as the gentle tickle upon a cheek

Red streaks across the window

Intertwined with the blue

Deeper than passion in furry

Reassuring as a heart can be

Yellow streak across the window

Outlining the horizon of our souls

Holding what we still don’t know upon our eye lids

As we clasp what we still do know

Flavors, colors, and spices

Hold the truth

Of what our life is

Sweet and ruff as love should be

Twisting in colors upon my window’s peak

Me and Mike